How can I be when I know what I did? It does not matter if Ithought it was for a good reason. It was not. I lied, deceived, andbetrayed the man I love. There is never a good reason for that. *************Doug is offering to give me a chance, take it right away. Why would Inot? It does hurt that he made the comment about I need to make sure thathe is not tricking me into something more than I bargained for. I knowthat is in reference of the bet and I know it was called for. He wantedto tell me in his own way, he would never trick me. *************I don't need mental help. It was done for the right reasons. I messed up,that does not mean I need help? I did so many damaging things to ourrelationship, but that does not make me mental. I am lying again, I doneed help. No one who is in their right frame of mind would treat someonethey love that cruel. I have to hold it together, he is going to get helpalso. I hurt him so bad that he needs professional help. I. Idon't think Sandy will ever get out of special ed." It's a shame." You should also keep Sophy busy at all times. Sign her up for all sortsof activities. I signed Josh up for T-ball. He loves it. It is sohilarious to watch him play. His big melons get in his way whenever hetries to bat. Not to mention, it's also funny to watch them flopunsupported here and there when he tries to run to first." I thought I would sign her up for dance and maybe into a couplepageants." That's the stuff."Soon they were all finished."Pauline, It's your turn to pick up the check."Taking out her credit card, Pauline handed it to the hostess who ran itthrough and brought it back for her to sign.The group left the restaurant and went on their own way. Each telling'Pauline' to call if she had a problem.Chapter 4.At the schoolyard, I just wanted to be left alone. I needed to think, butit's hard to concentrate.Amelia walked up to me. "Sophy, play with me!" Amelia said."I can't." But I need you to play. We.
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