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The psychic tells him, “You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you.”The frog is thrilled and says, “This is great! Where will I meet her? At work, at a party?”“No,” says the psychic, “in a biology class.”Two chemists, a brunette and a blonde, walk into a bar.The brunette says, “I’ll have some H2O.”The blonde says, “I’ll have some H2O, too.”The blonde died.There’s a new kind of coffee that acts as a strong laxative.It’s called G.I. JoeHow do two cats make love?The male cat goes to the female cat and says ‘naaaoooouuuw’.And the female cat responds by saying, ‘not naaaoooouuuw’.If you rob a bank in a sanctuary city, is it “illegal”, or just an “undocumented withdrawal”?What is the difference between an illegal immigrant and ET?ET learned to speak English and wanted to go home... A liberal is someone who wants you to think like them.A conservative is someone who just wants you to think.A man went to the local church and asked to Join. The. I believe you now. Every doubt I have ever had about meeting you, every tiny moment I thought that this would never work out has escaped me. Every word. I try to think of words to say, words that mean the same to you as they do to me, but all I can conjure is a shallow whisper Thank-you Innocence fills my face, just the way you want it to. I am scared for the first time tonight. Prepared for an intruder, to meet my fate, but never ever prepared for you. I am wearing jeans and a blue layered shirt littered with little butterflies, and you, you need nothing to make yourself look handsome, baggy jeans and a black t-shirt is what you wear. Its enough to make my mind spiral out of control. I run my hands down your strong arms, one of the things I had thought about doing for so long. The knowledge of being able to do it was unbearable, it didnt seem real. But I knew it was and that made me happy. I can feel every contour of your solid arms, my breathing becomes heavier as the excitement.
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