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Fruit flies like a banana.* In democracy your vote counts. In feudalism your count votes.* She was engaged to a boyfriend with a wooden leg but broke it off.* A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.* If you don’t pay your exorcist, you get repossessed* With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.* The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.* You feel stuck with your debt if you can’t budge it.* Local Area Network in Australia - the LAN down under.* Every calendar’s days are numbered.* A lot of money is tainted - Taint yours and taint mine.* A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.* He had a photographic memory that was never developed.* A midget fortune-teller who escapes from prison is a small medium at large.* Once you’ve seen one shopping centre, you’ve seen a mall.* Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis.* Santa’s helpers are subordinate clauses.* Acupuncture is a jab well done.Another candidate joke, from Reltney McfeeMy. Would it be ok I laid down on my reclining chair. I checked the chair and it did indeed recline flat. ‘Now, Jason I don’t want to embarrass you but tell me what clothes I need to take off’. I was in a flummox and went red. ‘There, you are embarrassed, I knew it. Tell you what, if I lay down and close my eyes, you can remove what clothing you need to work on me. How’s that’. We agreed. So, I sat her down adjusted it in a semi reclining position and took off her cardigan, then trousers and, what a lovely surprise, her stockings. I then fully reclined the chair and told her to open her eyes. Judy looked down and remarked that her legs were not the best. But instead of looking at them my eyes were fixed on the sheer amount of hair sprouting from the sides of her granny pants. And her pants could not hide her bulging pubic mound either. I just stared in wonderment and started to get a hard on. No matter how much I tried, my cock was tenting my trousers. That had never ever happened with.
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