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I remember the sound of my zipper sliding down, the sound of his pants, heavy with wallet and keys, hitting the concrete. I remember the soft nylon-on-nylon sound as we lay down on the pile of sleeping bags. I remember his soft grunt as my body yielded to his, and the satisfying warmth as his seed filled the condom.In college, my desires became more diverse. I sought out Monique, the exchange student from Belgium. She sang a solo of lust on the stage in my mind, guided by the strokes of my fingers and the music of my mouth. I imagined the feel of her skin, soft and smooth, and the sharp taste of her juice.After a month I had become obsessed with her. I decided to either fulfill the demands of my imagination, or find some other target for my private lusts. In the back of a theater showing of "The Hunger", my inhibitions lowered by the smoke she and I had shared, I confessed my secret. I leaned in close, and whispered, "I want you."She turned and looked at me, surprised at my boldness.. "Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns to the other and says:"Slim, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains. I know you're about my age. How do you feel?"Slim says, 'I feel just like a newborn baby.'"Really!? Like a newborn baby!?" Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just pooped my pants."A senior citizen said to his eighty-year old buddy:'So I hear you're getting married?''Yep!''Do I know her?''Nope!''This woman, is she good looking?''Not really.''Is she a good cook?''Naw, she can't cook too well.''Does she have lots of money?''Nope! Poor as a church mouse.''Well, then, is she good in bed?''I don't know.''Why in the world do you want to marry her then?''Because she can still drive and she has a car!'Three old guys are out walking...First one says, 'Windy, isn't it?'*Second one says, 'No, it's Thursday!'*Third one says, 'So am I. Let's go get a beer... '*A man was telling his neighbor, 'I just bought a.
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