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Or delusional ... or both. Women ... of every size, age and shape ... are so aggravating to the male mind, I swear ... if it wasn't for breeding them we'd have hunted them to extinction a million years ago.Take mine.Two years ago, Mom decided I was the best thing in bed since crackers ... maybe even better ... I left wet spots not crumbs. I learned a lot ... I mean ... REALLY! Then I turned 16 and she decided she needed a husband. She needed a victim to sacrifice on the wedding altar. The unmarried men in Pentwater were unmarried for the best of reasons. In later years a comedian would say it best, "You can't fix stupid!" Not one of them would do. The hunt was on.We sophomores had done our possible to drive our math teacher, Mr. Wojciechowski, starkers. He had this pulsing blood vessel in his forehead that grew bigger the madder he got."Algebra is easy!" Woejoe would scream, "It's just substituting letters for numbers." "The girls get it ... look at them."And all the girls would look. Mom took his other one, and explained her tryst with Uncle Rob.Dad raised his head and started a nervous laugh and said, "OK — here are the ground rules?"He went over a set of what he called the 'PDA Rules of Engagement.' They were,A - No kissing outside of the house.B - No touching each other, if either he or Mom are in the house.C - No friends over to have a 'kissing party.'D - Sex only with protection, only if no one else is home.I told him, that we hadn't discussed or even thought that we might end up having sex with one another, but he just laughed, "Winston, that moment is never what you expect it will be, or when or how, but be prepared. Gloria, are you on the pill yet?" NO!" Sylvia, get her on it ASAP, and get a bottle of those 'Morning After Pills, ' just in case our two children can't control themselves. Winston, get yourself some condoms ASAP, but not at the drug store where we usually shop. Gloria, as much as I trust both of you, I was a sixteen year old boy myself once..
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