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My name is Bambi. You killed my mother. Prepare to die.You look like a million dollars – Less impressive than you would have looked like ten years ago... A man says to his boos, “Can we talk? I have a problem”.The boss says, “Problem? No such thing. Here we call it an opportunity”.“OK”, the man says. “I have a serious drinking opportunity”.You’ve heard of alphabet soup now get ready for... Times new ramen!A guy falls in love with a very traditional and conservative girl... ... that means no sex before marriage. But he doesn’t care, he loves her. After a year of dating he decides it’s time to propose to her. So he heads to her father’s house to ask for his blessing.“Hello, sir, I’m here to ask for your daughter’s hand”A bit skeptical and looking to see if he really does love her, the father asks “And why is that?”The guy lets out a long drawn out sigh... “Well, it’s just that mine have gotten tired.”COVID-19 is like Pasta Asians invented it, Italians spread it.Who won the 1940 Tour de. “Dad’s very protective of me. And I LIKE that. Haley’s, well, Haley’s SANE, Mom. I know you thought ‘teenaged bimbo’ but Haley’s right there with me in college. We’re different, she and I, a class to ourselves, and I only wish I had a sister like Haley.” I giggled. “Actually, I do. ‘Cept she’s also my stepmom.”“Don’t remind me, Deena. Your dad. A teenaged bride. I get the shakes.”“Y’all’re divorced, mom. You didn’t stay celibate. Why would you expect that of him?”“I expected him to marry somebody his own age.”“He did that. Haley’s timeless.”“She’s gotta have something going for her. She’s so mousy-looking...”I ignored that. Haley’s short and kinda flat-chested and brown-eyed and she’d not be worth a second look in a line-up of girls her age, but I KNOW her and she’s positively scintillating, kaleidoscopic, endlessly fascinating, both physically and mentally. I fell in love, okay? But I can’t tell Mom that.“Haley’s a great person. I think she’s cute in that ‘I’m NOT trying’ sort of.
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