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Weird.The candies make a little scattering rattle when I toss them to the desk absentmindedly. Oh yeah, I gotta do something. I gotta take the unused portion and, wait huh?I pick up the package and re-read the back. The guarantee. I need to call that number. Makes total sense, they were stale as pale ale, I should get my 80 cents back.So I call.“Welcome to Dowling Dreams Candy Company, where we guarantee satisfaction for every taste. If you are calling about a product you were not satisfied with, please press one.”beep“Enter the serial number on the back of the package below the guarantee number now.”Okay, got it.“If you are male press 1, if you are female press 2.”I press 2 absently. Weird, why ask that?“Enter your age followed by the pound key now.”Right, I can do that. They probably need that for tracking ... something. Whatever.“Please hold and a customer care agent will be on the line.”Okay, guess this is going to take a bit. I plop down on the chair and kick up my feet, tucking. "For now, I am feeling fine. My health outside of a bump on the head and all that goes with it is fine. I have not lost consciousness except to sleep since I awoke. I am eating well. I am sleeping well. The doctors have told me to expect a full recovery."Everything I told them was true — if only partially true. There were no outright falsehoods."Now, on to important matters," I said. "I have watched the play I was hurt on several times. I want to thank Arturo James for his compassion on the play and his quick thinking. It is my understanding that the outcome could have been significantly worse without the actions he took. I have thanked Mr. James and his family personally by telephone and I've been told he was one of the first people to visit with me here. I was asleep at the time however."I also have watched the debate in the media about whether Mr. James' hit was reckless or excessive. His hit was, simply, football. Any injury I sustained on the play was one I was aware was.
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