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Then the marriage made the dream a possibility and if it was possible then it could someday be a reality and that fucked everything up. Now nothing is simple anymore. Hope has reared its ugly head. The real pisser is that I understand in my head that the dream is only a fantasy because I cant be loved, because no one will love a whore and a slut. But my heart wants to hang onto the dream. I hate you because you cant possibly love me and you will eventually leave me. We lay there in silence. Many minutes passed before I finally spoke. Yeah, I can see that your life was really great before I came along and fucked it up. She laughed and slapped me on the arm and we fell silent again although now we were looking at each other. How come you havent tried to fuck me? she asked. Because I dont want to fuck you. Bullshit. You want my body. Your dick has been hard all day. Its probably rock hard right now. True, on all three counts I said. I want your body more that you can even know, but I. I let go of her hand and went over to the bath, put the plug in and turned on the taps. I turned back to Al and put my arms around her again as she sobbed and sniffed on my shoulder. She wasn’t crying as much as she had been downstairs and was beginning to calm down. ‘Whatever it is, you can tell me about it when your ready, OK?’ Without lifting her head, she nodded. ‘Do you want me to put your clothes in the dryer for you?’ She nodded again. I knew I was taking a chance but decided to go for it anyway. ‘Do you want me to help you get undressed?’ Again, she nodded. I held her sleeves for her and she pulled her arms out of them and I lifted the heavily waterlogged sweatshirt over her head. She looked very sexy standing there in her jeans and little lemon yellow tank top which was wet enough for me to notice the dark circles where her nipples were struggling to escape the cold. Her hair wasn’t completely wet like it had been at the beach, it was just damp and something about it was.
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