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She was wearing a sexy negligee. The only trouble was, she was coming home.A girl phoned me and said, ‘Come on over. There’s nobody home.’ I went over. Nobody was home!A hooker once told me she had a headache.I was making love to this girl and she started crying. I said, ‘Are you going to hate yourself in the morning?’ She said, ‘No, I hate myself now.’My wife is such a bad cook, if we leave dental floss in the kitchen the roaches hang themselves.I’m so ugly I stuck my head out the window and got arrested for mooning.The other day I came home early and a guy was jogging, naked. I asked him, ‘Why?’ He said, ‘Because you came home early.’My wife’s such a bad cook, the dog begs for Alka-Seltzer.I know I’m not sexy. When I put my underwear on I can hear the Fruit-of-the-Loom guys giggling.My wife is such a bad cook. In my house we pray after the meal.My wife likes to talk to me during sex; last night she called me from a hotel.It’s been a rough day. I got up this morning and put a shirt. He relived and reveled in the memory of her touch upon his marred flesh. He shivered and gooseflesh ran up and down his arms. She had lit a fire within him. Just the thought of her or the memory of her sweet face caused his chest to ache and the lower part of him to throb. He knew he wanted more. His body needed more. Just the thought of her made him feel breathless and his entire body hot, hard and ready. He did not know what to do. Well, he knew what he wanted to do, but thought he would never be able to act on those feelings. Those feelings were ones he had never expected to experience. Her kiss had been his first. He hoped it would not be his last. An errant thought crossed his mind."I wonder. Was that kiss, her first kiss too?"Somehow, the answer to that question seemed very important, but Erik knew he had no way of discovering what the answer was. At least not at the moment. Hopefully, he ... no, they would be able to meet again and he could ask her."And, how precisely do I go.
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