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A bird, maybe? I shook it off but still felt weird now, like I was being watched. I might have just been paranoid being half naked right now, so I kept cleaning. I pulled out the mop and finished cleaning the linoleum floor. Then my legs got too hot, so I slipped off my jean shorts too. I bent down to pull them off my ankles, sticking my ass in the air, the only thing covering them was a pink and yellow lace panties. I stood up and saw something in the window again, but once again, I turned to see it, and it was gone. I fought with myself trying to believe that I wasn't being watched. The very thought that I might have a peeping tom watching me was a little ridiculous. I mean, who does that anymore? So I grabbed to vacuum and turned it on, I was barely a quarter done with the living room before I could see the object off the corner of my eye once more. I decided to look but not turn my head this time, and keep vacuuming so it looked like I was preoccupied. When I shifted my eyes to. .. Weird how that works. Of course for most readers nothing in this paragraph makes any sense whatsoever, does it?I do that a lot ... Stop making sense, I mean. Burning down the house too, but my girlfriend is better than yours, especially when she takes me to the river ... but that's a wild, wild life during wartime ... are you keeping up? Most people don't know I'm really David Byrne, but it does explain quite a bit. Don't you think?Ummm ... Thirdly, just because there should be another point I want to make, uh ... Oh! There is a brief male/male scene and I thought about coding it, but the fact is that I counted all the words and there's 71645 of them and the scene in question is 324 words long and if I divide those numbers ... hold on a second ... That's 00.45% of the total, which means 99.55% of the story has no male-male sex in it at all and if someone gets to those three paragraphs and isn't already invested enough in the story to accept the fact that sometimes drunken men do.
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