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She asked after his son and he was rather more forthcoming this time, telling her about his prison sentence and that he was now out and had moved in with friends in Newcastle."Have you seen him since he came out?" No." Don't you want to?" I'm not that fussed, lass. If he wants to see me he knows where I am. He hasn't even phoned to let me know his address or phone number." Oh, Reg, that's bad." Aye."She reached across the table and patted his hand sympathetically and he smiled slightly ruefully at her. She took her hand back and a thought struck her. When had she last shown affection to a man other than Nick and Nigel? She looked down."What's up, lass?"She shook her head and then looked up. "Nothing," she smiled a little forcedly.He studied her face silently for a moment. There was something but he would wait until she wanted to tell him.He left soon afterwards. "Thanks for coming with me, lass," he said with a warm smile, "and for supper. It's good to eat with someone else for a. The content of them surprised, and also made me feel like there might be a little love left for me; just a spark, and I clung to that hope with my whole being.After realizing we were going to try to stay together and watching John fight the demons I had loosed on him, I knew that this was going to be 'the' test of our marriage and our love for each other.Our lovemaking that afternoon was a test for me. I tried my very best to let John know that I would not refuse him anything as long as he showed his love for me in a manner that let me know that love was in his actions, not anger. I had been deeply hurt by his actions those few days ago, and physically hurt as well.His remorse at his actions towards me had left me with the feeling that he was going to leave me. He had been upset with himself at how he had 'used' me so hard and violently. I had, in my desperation, overlooked that harshness. I wanted more than anything in the world to stay with my husband.My biggest fear at that point.
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