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”“That’s gonna be a bit awkward init?”“Not really.” he said. “I still have the receipt, you insensitive bastard.”Went out last night and got really wasted.I woke up this morning next to a fat old bird who was snoring.So, at least I got home OK.Angela Merkel arrives at Passport Control in Athens airport.“Nationality?” asks the immigration officer.“German,” she replies.“Occupation?”“No, just here for a few days.”As the coffin was being lowered into the ground at a Parking Officer’s funeral, a voice from insidescreams: “I’m not dead, I’m not dead. Let me out!”The Vicar smiles, leans forward, sucking air through his teeth and mutters, “Too late, mate, the paperwork’s already done.”I spent a couple of hours defrosting the fridge last night.Or “foreplay” as she likes to call it.After both suffering from depression for a while, me and the missus were going to commit suicide together yesterday.Strangely enough, however, once she killed herself I started to feel a lot better.So I thought - sod. After I hung up, I looked at my wife and said, "Cathy I think you lovethis man." She hugged me telling me, "It's OK, those emotions aredeveloping in you and it is very natural. Let those emotions guide you toSteve. He is a very nice, loving man. He will help you beat your diseaseor maybe help you decide if you want to be a princess forever."Right now I loved those words, "a princess forever". I was so lightheaded, I just got off the phone with my man. He called me to flirt. Wehad a talk like I was a teenage girl on the phone with her boyfriend. Ilove this!I am thinking I really need to talk with a therapist and thankful I amseeing the Institute's staff tomorrow night.Cathy looked at me and said, "Terri what did Steve say about yourearrings"? I looked at her saying, "Oh I forgot to show you," as Igrabbed my ears. "Steve bought me these beautiful earrings." OK, Terri, I thought they were a gift from Steve. They are so big, sogorgeous. You know Terri, you have a keeper with Steve. He is.
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