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Every time you touch yourself, touch someone else, or someone else touches you, I am watching. And I am rendering judgment. Up to this point, you may have been assuming that you've gotten away with it. Or, perhaps, you may have assumed that the "naughty list" is nothing more than an empty threat. You have probably been expecting that you would be able to go on with your sinful ways indefinitely, while I do nothing more than give you gifts every year. I am afraid, however, that there comes a point in ever relationship when the honeymoon is over, and reality sets in. So, yes, I will come to your home tonight. I will accept your welcome, eat your cookies, drink your milk, and enjoy your hospitality, whether you are sleeping or awake. And, as usual, I will come with my big red sack, which I packed full of gifts before I left my workshop. However, this time, there will be no gifts in that sack for you -- only for me. You see, you've been told that I do not single-handedly make. Huysmans put away his small jar and slumped in his chair. Schmertzylvanian hospitality, once the envy from the Volga to the Bosphorus, had declined into sullenness during the long, tedious reign of First Citizen Klodna. But there was one local tradition that even Klodna's pleasure-killing regime could not extinguish, and that had roared back since his accidental heart attack/falling off a balcony/being run over by a tank in '91. The legendary bathhouses of Snerdsk, or, as they were known to the secret underworld of devotees of plumper women, the Fathouses.Huysmans, world-famous author of what the West called BBW erotica, thought back on the many and formative experiences he had had as a young man in the Fathouses— a reverie of vast shaking bosoms, thunderous thighs, and grunting, sweating masseuses in thin white blouses. But just as he was recalling a particularly steamy moment in the sauna a few weeks before he defected as a teenager, he was jerked back to fluorescent-lit reality by.
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