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“And if I don’t?” he asked.“Then kid you are about to let your mouth overload your ass. I would hate to see you do that. It isn’t good for business,” I informed him.“What if I just decide to kick your old white ass,” he said. He and his thug friend did that laugh and slap hands thing meant to intimidate me.“Well the best you can do is hurt me a little, but I assure you I will have your ass arrested. I also assure you, it will not be an easy arrest. So that makes it a really bad idea,” I added.“How about I just kill your ass?” he said showing his irritation.“If you try that, I’m going to defend myself. Your hands are a deadly weapons, or at least dangerous weapons. So I would have to use real force. You know, the kind I could reach out and touch you with. Now if I asked you to leave and you refused, I’d have to call the cops. I know all of them, and I know how the system works. It would not be a pleasant arrest. Trust me kid you are better off to go back to your workout and keep your. I asked Mom, but I don’t think she told me the right meanings.”“Son, never ask your mother about these things. Ask me. Let me explain what they mean for you.” He pulled a Playboy from his workbench, turned to the centrefold and drew a circle around the pubic area.“Everything inside the circle is pussy,” he said.“Okay, Dad. Then what’s a bitch?”“Everything outside the circle.”Private LessonsA husband and wife love to golf together, but neither of them are playing like they want to, so they decide to take private lessons. The husband has his lesson first. After the pro sees his swing, he says, “No no, no, you’re gripping the club way too hard!”“Well, what should I do?” asks the man.“Hold the club gently,” the pro replied, “just like you’d hold your wife’s breast.”The man takes the advice, takes a swing, and POW! He hits the ball 250 yds. straight up the fairway. The man goes back to his wife with the good news, and the wife can’t wait for her lesson.The next day the wife goes for her.
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