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" Grandma!" Hush-up and tell me about this Evan fella'." There's not really much to tell," I said and went on to explain about my weekend."Good Lord. How old is he?" Thirty-five. I was with him five minutes and the only thing I could think of was Dudley Do-right."She cackled and I took a swallow of orange juice."Dad called me right before you called. He's as excited as he is when one of his bitches gives birth to a litter. I couldn't get a word in edgewise. He honestly believes I'm going to marry this goof-ball." He'll get over it." But will I?" Of course, you will. Call the paper and see how soon you can put in a response to the proposal and just get it over with. Write flowery and heart-wrenching and let him down as gently as possible." Killing him might be easier." Yes, but if you're arrested for murder you won't be able to go out with your Officer Huntley." He's not MY officer." Of course he is. He obviously pulled you over to flirt with you, got nervous and botched the whole. "I mean...ya...I sound like a girl. This is great...thank you...thank you...thank you..." What's up with this guy, I go to kiss him and now he's pulling away."Not yet my dear. Would you like to come to my apartment. It is close by and I have some more to show you. I think you will like it quite a lot." Christ! This guy is weird, but he's right. I do want him to show me more. I love the way my lips look now, and the way my voice sounds. I just have to find out how far he can take this...I wonder if...no...he's just been doing a few tricks girl. There's no way that any of this is permanent, but I would like to know what he used to do it. I know I'll be using this stuff all the time. I still don't know...he's pretty gawdamn weird. "I still don't..." If you want more of this my dear then come with me." ...Ahhh...um..." Oh christ...this guy must be crazy if he thinks I'm going home with him. "Uh...um... well, I don't know..." I know you must be frightened, but please.
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