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WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?Kindergarten Teacher: To get to the other side.Victorian Police: Give us five minutes with the chicken and we'll find out.Dr. Seuss: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes! The chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed, I've not been told!Grandpa: In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.Plato: For the greater good.Aristotle: It is the nature of all chickens to cross roads.Karl Marx: It was a historical inevitability.Timothy Leary: Because that's the only trip the establishment would let him take.Saddam Hussein: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping50 tons of nerve gas on it.Ronald Reagan: I forgotCaptain James T. Kirk: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.Hippocrates: Because of an excess of phlegm in its pancreas.Louis Farrakhan: The road, you see, represents the black. Second you can command her, own her, fuck her, then take off the collar, but if that’s your choice, she’ll want the collar again soon enough. Thirdly you can prepare to eat a lot of hospital food, because if you belittle her by ignoring her submission, or laughing it off, I’ll put you in hospital. Nobody hurts my girls. Understood... ??”Army brat, remember? Bluster and big words don’t impress me. Her sincerity did. “I really fucked up, didn’t I... ??”“No, you just hit a trigger, Sue isn’t like you. No harm, so long as you take it seriously.”“But we are alike, we’re both dog girls.”“No, you’re not alike. You crave a strong alpha dog because at heart you’re an alpha bitch. You NEED a strong dog to make you feel validated. Sue is a bitch, she’d be as happy with Rex as with Prince. Yes she is a good trainer, but that’s what she does, not what she is. Understand... ??”I paused, thinking it through. “Ok, so how do I be what Sue deserves... ??”She smiled and put her hands on my shoulders,.
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