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... What the hell is going on here?!Eyes opened, the head stares at a large, grey-ish sky, but empty of rain to share for the moment. In the corners of your terrified, confused gaze, you make out the naked limbs of a tree. A huge tree. A big-ass tree. With big-ass limbs. And maybe it was the bathed grass under your skin that may have given you a hallucinating cold or the badly cooked (microwaved) lasagna you've had on Tuesday, but.....but......why the hell are they moving? My fucking Lord, why are these fat branches moving?! Annnnddd....they're coming closer, aren't they?Yes, they-*BAMM*Like thunderous applause meeting the sound of a shot-out cannonball is the noise your body makes when one of the arms of this monstrous plant pushes and shoves, rather crushes, you, right in the stomach. You don't get much time to respirate. The second this thing throws you in the air (where there is actually plenty to breathe, paradoxically), another one of them catches and grabs your meat costume by. " I wanted to get that clown concentrating on splitting age hairs. Pussy hairs when they are still attached are much more fun, but legal hairs were what I had to concentrate on if I wanted to keep out of prison where I was too old to be mated up with a black dude with a sixteen inch peter and named Bubba. Most romantically inclined Bubbas don't want wrinkled old ass, white or any other color."Please tell us if you admit under oath that the sperm found in that girl" Woman," I interrupted. That really pissed him off."That young girl!" he screamed back at me. "I have a daughter her age." How many times have you been to bed with her?" I whispered just loud enough for him to hear."You son of a bitch!" he screamed at me."Your honor." He turned to the judge."Contempt of court, three hundred dollar fine and thirty days to calm you down," the judge said."Thank you, your honor, he deserves much more."Then the judge dropped the bombshell. "I was referring to you and your unconscionable attack on.
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