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Everyone was much worse than I was, and I was only having about one drink (and a glass of water) to everyone else’s three or four. But they were all the level of drunk where you just assume that everyone is like you, mostly because you imagine that it will make the night more fun. It was a big house party, one where I could have easily left if I wanted to without offending anybody, but for some reason I didn’t feel like making the entire bus trip back to my apartment by myself. My guy friend, Josh*, was one of the few people I knew well enough — and someone that I knew, without a doubt, would walk me home if I asked him to. He was having fun, and I didn’t want to ruin his good time, so I waited on the couch and made small talk.Two A.M. came by, then three. By the time we realized how late it was, it was clear that Josh was not interested in making the journey home, and the host offered us his out-of-town roommate’s room to spend the night in if we needed a place to stay. “Just don’t. They get loud; I walk away. Just two minutes of total silence later and the crowd roars again.I walk to the tub, lift the clean lid and pause to look at the angry group. They barely notice as I push down my shorts and panties and pause again before squatting and relieving my liquid tensions. I stand and loudly slam the lid so they will all look at me and see me half naked. Once they have a good look, I pull up my shorts and join them. No one comments on my exposure. Good!Renae asks if I saw any TP. I shake my head, no. Carl suddenly answers, via speaker, that there are four rolls behind the tub. So! He can hear us. I wonder if he can see us too and caught my show. He announces hour two is done. -click- The group huddles without me. Are they blaming me for this mess? What is Roger saying? (9000x3%) / (5x1.7) = 31.76 hours and ONLY one of us must die. Seriously? He says we have to be hugely ZEN to make it that far ... and heat will soon be a problem!“Well, friends, we can ease the heat.
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