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The mom asks, “Why on earth do you need that?”The little boy replies, “isn’t that what you give daddy when HIS shit won’t get hard?!”This compliments of Mario MComplaints to wife and replyTo My Dearest Wife,During the past year, I have attempted to make love to you 365 times. I have succeeded 36 times, which is an average of only once every 10 days. The following is a list of why I didn’t succeed more often:We will wake the kids - 54 timesIt’s too late - 15 timesI’m too tired - 42 timesIt’s too early - 12 timesIt’s too hot - 18 timesPretending to be asleep - 31 timesThe neighbors will hear - 9 timesHeadache or backache - 26 timesSunburn - 10 timesYour mother will hear us - 9 timesNot in the mood - 21 timesWatching the late show - 17 timesToo sore - 26 timesNew hairdo - 6 timesWrong time of the month - 14 timesYou had to go to the bathroom - 19 timesOf the 36 times that I DID succeed, the result was not always satisfying because 6 times you just laid there, 8 times you reminded me that. Two sets of those parents were Frank's and Danny's.It almost got ugly when Chuck was forced to tell the parents why the students were benched. First Frank's father tried to play it all down, but Chuck insisted that rules were rules. Then Mr. Zeliff demanded to know why he wasn't called and notified when the... infraction... had been discovered. Chuck explained that the kids had been given the option of telling their parents first. The two men began to bluster, but their wives, thinking, no doubt about what the parents of the girls involved would say when THEY found out what had happened, pulled their husbands away forcefully.It should have been a slaughter.But Chuck found out that if you take four second and third stringers, who were motivated by the fear of public humiliation, they played a lot better than he thought they would. The rest of the team knew their honor was on the line too, and even though they started the game down and angry that the coach wouldn't let their friends.
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