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“Here you are, Ron,” she whispered in her outrageous idea of a posh English accent.Since this place was clearly Harry’s cupboard under the stairs, we sometimes hid in here and pretended to be Harry and Ron or Harry and Hermione taking on Voldemort or avoiding Professor Snape. Who was who swapped around regularly, depending on the mood we were in at the time.“I got your wand back from the twins,” Liz continued. “It’s a bit dinged up, but I stuck it back together with tape and now it’ll be as right as rowing.”I lifted my head off my knees and gave her a thin smile. “Thanks Harry. You’re a good friend. I don’t know what I’d ever do without you. But it’s rain, not rowing.”“What?”“Now it’ll be as right as rain!” I explained.“Oh! That doesn’t make any sense either. What does it mean?”I shrugged. “I don’t know. That’s just the expression.”Liz shrugged. “Whatever!”At that moment, an extra person clambered into our little space – it was Melissa.“What are we doing under the stairs?” asked. "I'm not worried about the first night, ballbuster. Or, the second. I'm thinking of all the days and nights after that. If you fight me, I won't be gentle with you. I'll spank your ass each time you try your ballbusting tactics on me." Jack, no man has ever spanked me," she replied coquettishly, obviously enjoying the repartee."Then, it is time, unless you can behave yourself." Is spanking the way you treat a woman these days, Jack? I thought you were more gentlemanly than that." I am a gentleman, unless the woman is a ballbuster. I will treat you as you behave, Ellen." How should I behave?" she replied impishly."In public, as you always have. In private, as the slutty sex slave you really want to be."I heard her gasp."I am not a slut! God, what an absurd, arrogant, chauvinistic pig you are! You are not even a pig. You are a piglet! You are not mature enough to be a pig!" Now, now, ballbuster. Unbalanced table and social embarrassment, or, wild, wanton sex. It's an easy choice, even.
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