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“No, ummmm, I ummm….. well what I mean is that even if Will was into it, he’s just not ummmm, well, umm, endowed the way Gary is.” Debbie smiled broadly. “Ahhh, I see what you mean. Well, I suppose not, and at his age he’s certainly not going to get any larger.” They were silent for a few moments when in a low voice Debbie said, “But there is a way….” A puzzled look on her face, Dianne asked, “How?” “Do you have a dildo?” “NO!” Dianne exclaimed. “I’ve never used anything like that. Do you?!?!” Debbie smiled. “Come on Dianne, really? I’ve had a couple for years and a vibrator as well. Gary travels a lot and after all, I’m not a nun! I can’t believe you don’t. How do you masturbate? With just your fingers?” Blushing Dianne nodded her head and said, “Where do you get them? I think I’d die of embarrassment.” “You can order anything over the internet nowadays.” was the reply. “And they come in innocent packages so no one has to know. But I. Said it stopped you bothering her!"Oh, h'mm, yes well..."Anyway, what brought you here this afternoon Squiffy? I don't s'pose for one minute that you knew I was here." No, that's true," Squiffy replied.Well, it's nice there's something he doesn't know."No," he went on, "some cousin of the wife's visitin', and I just had to get away from her husband, pompous ass, expert on almost everythin', ex copper y'know, they're always the same."Absolutely, oh yes, indeed I did know him, Chief Superintendent, and a Yorkshire man to boot. Well y'know what they say, you can always tell a Yorkshire man, you just can't tell him very much. And when he's a copper you can't tell him anything."Yes, I left him snoozin' after a big lunch, and plenty of Australian Cabernet Shiraz, followed by brandy, wake up with bad head I shouldn't wonder." Don't you believe it Squiffy," I said with feeling. "That brother-in-law of mine can drink me under the table and wake up clean as a whistle. And anyway, don't you.
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