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"What are youafraid of?" she asked doing her best to keep her growing exasperation incheck. "You look great. Hell, next to you I look like Little OrphanAnnie."Under ordinary circumstances I would have countered M's self-deprecatinghumor with a quick, witty remark. At the moment, however, my brain wassuffering from a sever case of vapor lock as I stared at the door as ifHell fire and damnation lay just on the other side. "Will you get agrip," my sister implored as she began to tap her toe, a habit that washer version of counting to ten. "Look," she stated doing her best tokeep her tone even, "you've already gone out to dinner with two verycute guys who never suspected a thing. Compared to that, this will be apiece of cake. The odds of someone pegging you as anything other thanwhat you appear to be is somewhere between zilch and nil. And even ifthey do, what's the big whoop? You know how New Yorkers are."Despite the flawless logic of her argument, I still found it impossibleto take. I knew that if I didn't come up with something soon my chances with Teresa would be lost forever. Worse yet, I suspected Mom would soon grow tired of my stalling, and direct Dad to start beating me again. The next day out of sheer desperation, I decided to reveal what you had told me about your sex toy business. Since neither you nor your father were doing anything illegal, I personally didn't think this would be considered a major sin, but at least it would prove that I was still trying, and maybe buy me a little more time to come up with something more substantial.Reverend Jim, who was probably getting desperate himself to find something that would stir up his shrinking congregation, acted like I had just revealed the identity of a serial killer. He sang his admiration of me to the masses praising my stance to denounce evil even when the culprit had been a former friend. Mom seemed as proud as ever, accepting congratulations from everyone on raising such a fine son. Best of all was.
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