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She was listening closely to every word coming out of my mouth. I was making her laugh and she seemed really relaxed with me she started touching me on the arm while she laughed. I asked her how long was she married to MR. Prick, she laughed and said for almost four years now. I jokingly asked her if her husband uses the blue pills to get it up? She told me that he needs to take something to help him, but he don’t like having sex anymore. “What? You don’t have sex anymore”? She quickly replied I wish he would have sex with me, it’s been over two years now. Wow! Two years, what do you do for sex, I asked her. She said I have toys but I miss having sex. I asked her, did you tell him you want to get fucked? She said that every time she brings up sex he gets mad at her and yells and make her feel like crap. She looked at her phone and said oh it’s late, I have to cook dinner for my husband; we had talked for over three hours and she looked like she didn’t want to leave. I told her that. While suffering through it all, I’m lucky to have made it out alive. With the cliché that only the strong survive so true, and with me no shrinking violet and never backing down, most of the bad things I endured have made me stronger instead of weaker. I am that character in my story, Bag Lady & the Retired Marine. That’s me again as Rachel, in Born Beautiful, Rachel’s story. There I am again in Beauty and the Beast Within. I’m Susan in Cleaning Cans and Bottles Topless and in Collecting Bottles, Cans & Friends. Being that I can only write what I know, I’m in nearly all of my stories. Yet, there are some things that I still carry around with me and seemingly no amount of therapy can lessen the nightmares and the sadness that I am cursed to carry around with me until the day I die. * * * * * ‘Are you depressed?’ That’s what my doctor asks me every time I see him. ‘Duh? Of course, I’m depressed. I’m a writer who’s been sexually, physical, and emotionally abused. Who wouldn’t be.
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