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"Say that again." Bloody hell," I laughed again. "I've already forgotten most of it." Doesn't matter then." Yes it does, or you wouldn't have said it, come on what bit did you miss?"Looking up at me, she actually looked like the innocent little schoolgirl she'd pretended to be earlier, sad, very sad and vulnerable."He doesn't love me anymore, Jamie." Aw mum, come on baby, of course, he does."God, I'd called her baby!It was probably down to all the gin she'd imbibed, but before I knew it, she was sobbing and sitting there like the loneliest person in the world."He's going to leave me, Jamie, I just know he is."I pulled her to her feet and wrapped both arms around her as she sobbed."He's not mum, he's just a bit infatuated."That was completely the wrong thing to say, but at eighteen I wasn't exactly a sage!"He's fucking her now you know, I bet you anything you like, they're in bed now, and he's fucking her brains out." Mum, come on, snap out of it, what're you gaining by thinking like. Not right now obviously. First, I needed to learn the art of seduction.“it’s time Teddy” Lousy said, as the three of us sat in the beer garden of our local pub, sucking cola through a straw, from a refundable glass bottle and scoffing salt and vinegar flavoured crisps, while our parents were inside knocking back the real stuff, “to introduce you to pussy!” “what the fuck,” I believe, was my first response. “Shut-up you shit and listen” growled my brother Johnny. Lousy then explained that her friend Wendy had agreed, for a fee, to show me around a woman’s body. To be frank I was shitting myself when she first told me. I knew Wendy as we all went to the same school together, but she was three years older than me, and that’s a massive difference when your only just eighteen. Don’t be scared, Lousy reassured, she knows you’re a virgin. “Yeah, thanks’ Lou,” I said, feeling like a little kid attempting to ride his first bike after the stabiliser had been removed and everyone watching.I was.
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