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.”“No, no. Not you, Tony. Me,” she said. “I must look like a complete tramp to you.” She immediately started fiddling with her buttons and pulling them together. “I am not a cougar. Somehow, I imagined you would see me like you painted those glorious young women I saw at the exhibition. I can tell by your eyes that you just see a trashy old woman. I should have known better.”Clarice gave me a nudge which I assumed meant that I should reassure the woman. What could I say?“Um ... is that how you’d like to be seen?” I asked. “I find that sometimes we think of ourselves differently in our heads than in our mirrors. I had a model in class last fall who was a really old woman—I mean 80s at least—who loved the portrait one of my classmates did showing her with no wrinkles. She said it captured who she really was.”“My god. Do you psychoanalyze all your clients? Yes, that’s how I want to think of myself. I want to see me as I was when I was twenty and fresh and had four fewer children and two. It was mostly caused by me underestimating the amount of time it would take me to choose the clothes I wanted to wear to the dance.Ordinarily, this wasn't a problem I was used to having. For some reason, one which I didn't understand, I couldn't seem to arrive at a decision on which suit to wear, and when I did, I'd look in the mirror after deciding, and not be satisfied with how I looked in the clothes. In the end, I chose a conservative dark blue business suit. I'd already spent an hour getting ready by the time I finally settled on this suit.When I finally did get to the club, I had no trouble finding our table. Everyone was already there, and they were all already enjoying themselves, if the laughter and the noise coming from the table was any indication at all. Joyce was sitting on Mama's right and Brenda was on her left. Emily was sitting on Brenda's left, then my Dad, then Shirley and then Cindy was wedged in next to her. The only vacant seat was between Joyce and Cindy..
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