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‘So what do you do for sex now?’ Sam laughed. ‘I do without.’ ‘Me too…I mean at home. Since we are buddies I’ve been meaning to tell you.’ Sam pulled the truck over to the curb. ‘Don’t tell me you are cheating on Janie.’ ‘Shit man. All she talks about is you. Blah, blah, blah…Sam this and Sam that. So when this young chic Tina at the office asked me to lunch how could I turn her down?’ ‘Janie and I have been good friends since the first grade,’ Sam sighed. ‘She’s like my sister.’ ‘Well she’s been like my sister too. When I want to have sex she always has an excuse.’ ‘Shit. How serious is your relationship with this other woman?’ ‘Really serious. Remember last month when I had a business weekend in Vegas?’ ‘Yeah the sales convention.’ ‘Tina went with me and we shared a room. We never left the room all weekend.’ ‘You’re an idiot. Janie is beautiful and a great person. How old is this other woman?’ ‘She’s not really a woman. I mean she will be twenty in another month. I think. .think again china! I never knew that I could run in water or maybe I was running ON water I am not sure! As I hit the bank, putting the ‘Roadrunner’ way behind me I scurried up a tree quicker than any ape; I am almost certain that tree was planted as a blessing for me in anticipation of this day. With my heart beating faster than Ginger Baker could produce a drum roll and perched almost at the pinnacle of the tree, I could only watch as the huge angry a****l fortunately halted at the bank and brutally bewailed his demented fury as the leaves on the tree visibly shook….not too sure if it was from me or the T-Rex! Immediate thoughts came to mind of a rather gooey, pungent and lumpy fluid running down my legs that had been hastily and uncontrollably emitted from my rectal orifice with the sphincter gland well exceeding its human anatomical parameters! …. Although undoubtedly imminent, fortunately this did not occur. In retrospect, looking down the barrel of 10 tons of terrifying.
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