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I admit that there are moments when my natural cynicism breaks free of the constraints that I have placed on it and I have made observations that would appear to be of a cynical nature. My experiences with life have unfortunately allowed me to accumulate a number of examples where my view of my fellow man has taken on a particularly jaundiced aspect. A result of my research is that I have something of a fan club around the 5th precinct. The men and women in blue are never backward in pointing out any errors, as they see them, in my books. On the other hand they are fulsome in their complements when they feel that it is deserved. The feed-back is generally more positive than negative. I thought, for want of evidence to the contrary, that I was happy right up until the wheels fell off my life. I had been married for three years to Melissa who I met at a book signing in one of the more prestigious book stores in Manhattan. She had stepped inside to avoid a heavy downpour and had. “And what does 'eating pussy' mean?”“We've done a lot of that this weekend.”“What do you mean 'we'?”“Well. John ate your mum's pussy then he fucked her, your mum ate mine while John was fucking her, and I ate your mum's pussy while John fucked me.”“Oh my god! Why couldn't I be here to watch all that? I still don't know what it means.”“I'm sorry, Wendy. As much as I would like to help with your sex education, I'm not prepared to go to gaol(=jail) and so I'm afraid that you can't watch us, until you reach the age of consent, which is 16 in this state.”“Why would anyone go to gaol?”“If the police found out that any of us were having any sort of sex with you, you would be taken from your mum and put in a foster home and we would be branded as pedophiles and thrown in gaol.”“But, I'm not going to tell anyone and neither are you, so how would the police find out?”“I'm guessing that you would just have to tell your best friend, and even though she promised not to tell anyone, she would tell.
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