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..it was Mandy. Anyway she hobbled off to the bog and on her way back leaving the kitchen light on she prodded me as only a woman can grunted “you awake!” and gave me a shake.“I bloody are now you daft cow!” I replied in my sweetest tone I could manage, which she as women do, managed to ignore.“What are we going to do about that” she asked jerking the thumb at Bergy, (we you will note,) I asked if the `we’ was plural, and she gave me one of her loving taps, so my head started to ring with the combined force of hangover and clout. She referred to me in a stage whisper as a “dozy pillock”, and said “I had led him on for a few free drinks!” well I of course denied it saying that ”she was the one who suggested ropes and she knew he was without a woman and had been for a while” “Whatever!” She said; “what are we now going to do to get rid of him, cos I don’t want that bloody giant thing in me?” pointing at the bulge in his y fronts. I said “I had no idea, but it would be dawn soon so she. I justsmiled. My brother teased me incessantly about it for a long time afterand I played it off like I was upset, but I wasn't. That was the firstreal memory of my childhood and it would define myself from then on.There weren't any boys my age in my neighborhood growing up, mostlyolder people. The only kids my age were two sisters who lived up theroad from me, and I ended up becoming friends with them. We wouldmostly play on their swing set they had in their yard, but on rainy dayswe would play games in their house. One of those rainy days we decidedto play house, and it usually was me being the dad and the oldest girlwas the mom while the youngest was the baby. Well, that day the oldestgirl decided that she wanted to be the dad, which I thought would leaveme to be the baby; but she said she wanted me to be the mom.Again, I should have been mortified, but I just said ok. I didn't eventhink about it and then the oldest girl told me to follow her into herroom. She pulled out.
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