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The panic attackshave stopped, but instead I find myself dependent on your treatment. Ihave to wear these underclothes, or it seems I go to pieces."This is new for me too," he explained. "You are a novel case for me.But the feminine in you is so strong that we have to find a way to pullit out. Frankly I am surprised that you do not have any feelings ofgender dysphoria - any transsexual thoughts?..." Nothing like that," I responded truthfully. "At least not until now.I am having some dreams of being female. It is not want I want, it'sjust a dream, that I am not me. Is this normal? To be frank Doc, Iwonder if I am losing touch."I spent another hour on his couch and we talked through some of theissues. No more "regression" thankfully. That seemed to me to be thestart of all this. But what we were able to establish was that I hadfound a way to function, and actually function extremely well, withoutdrugs. He convinced me that my real fear was that I had learned that Ihad a. " What about Kara?" Sandy asked.I sometimes forget girls read us better than we think."If Kara was not a full time model, I would be going out with her right now. If she told me she would be home at least one week a month, we would be going out." What ever happened to the country western girl ... the one who wrote the songs about you?" Eve? She went to Nashville and signed with Juke Records. I've only talked to her twice since she left. We're on shaky ground because the last song was supposed to be about our breakup, but it was not based on reality." That sucks. What about Tami?" she asked."Tami is the one girl I would give it all up for. She got a fellowship to study in the UK for the year. Right before she left we had a falling out and we haven't talked for nearly three months. Since around the Thanksgiving time frame, we have talked three times. She is my best friend, and I miss her a lot. My biggest concern is her moving on without me. She has found herself new friends, and even a.
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