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He really did love me though and I loved him just as much." "Is this why he wanted a divorce later in your marriage?" "Part of it. He was bi-sexual and he loved to have me fuck him after he'd fucked me. But as I got older it got to be harder for me to get an erection and by the time he finally asked for the divorce I could only get it semi hard, not enough to where I could fuck him anymore. He found a woman who had a bi-sexual husband and they invited him to join them and he did. He moved in with them that very night and I've never heard from him again." "That must've really hurt." "It almost killed me. He did promise that he wouldn't say anything about me to anyone, and as far as I know, he never has. I've always been grateful for that little bit." "What have you done since then?" I asked. "I put all my energy into training. I lost all that excess body fat I'd gained after he left me. I stayed away from other men, afraid of what they might think of me. I moved into. She listened carefully and encouraged me as I recalled those feelingsof totally emptiness back when I just a boy. Blushing slightly I feltmy head turning shyly away from her gaze."Go on honey," as she poured another glass and then relaxed on the sofaher legs all curled up and comfy next to a velvet embroidered cushion.I tried to explain that sudden jolt we all remember. You know that day,Im sure you do if you are reading this, when as a boy you sense thatsudden crushing feeling as you realise that there's this invisible wallthat you just can't break through, as much as you try.You look at the pretty pastel colours, the such light and floaty skirtsand flouncy dresses, notice every detail every pleat in theskirt....and feel that familiar ache of exclusion.Lovely patent leather shoes with a cute buckle strap, sometimes apunched floral design and others a small heel.Oh, you can even remember the first day painted nails were allowed inschool, envy the light lipgloss and quietly are drawn.
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