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My belly button was exposed and I could feel the cold air.I kept pretending that I was not feeling it and kept watching TV. Then he slowly unbuttoned my shirt trying to make sure that I did not know about it. I guess he thought that I was asleep. I was not moving and remained completely still. Then I felt the cold air on my naked skin between my breast area. I felt the margin of the shirt being removed as it rubbed my nipples. First, he removed the left one and then the right one. My boobs were completed naked, I felt the cold air. Even my nipples were responding too and were hard erect.At that moment, I began breathing rapidly wondering what he will do next. I guess he was gazing at my big breasts since he was not doing anything. It was almost a minute, but that minute felt like ages to me.Then he placed his hand on my belly, casually touching my belly button and feeling my belly. Next, he gently moved his hands to my chest in between my boobs. I could feel his hard rough hands. ”“That’s gonna be a bit awkward init?”“Not really.” he said. “I still have the receipt, you insensitive bastard.”Went out last night and got really wasted.I woke up this morning next to a fat old bird who was snoring.So, at least I got home OK.Angela Merkel arrives at Passport Control in Athens airport.“Nationality?” asks the immigration officer.“German,” she replies.“Occupation?”“No, just here for a few days.”As the coffin was being lowered into the ground at a Parking Officer’s funeral, a voice from insidescreams: “I’m not dead, I’m not dead. Let me out!”The Vicar smiles, leans forward, sucking air through his teeth and mutters, “Too late, mate, the paperwork’s already done.”I spent a couple of hours defrosting the fridge last night.Or “foreplay” as she likes to call it.After both suffering from depression for a while, me and the missus were going to commit suicide together yesterday.Strangely enough, however, once she killed herself I started to feel a lot better.So I thought - sod.
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