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” The other two look at him and wonder. Another woman walks by. The first man says, “She is an 8”; the second says, “I give her an 8+”; the third says, “She is a three.” Again the first two men wonder about him. Then an extremely fine-looking redhead approaches. The first man says, “She is a 10!” The second man says, “She is an 11!!” The third guy says, “She is a six.” The other two finally look at him and say, “What is the matter with you, man?? That redhead is perfect!! Are you weird or something??”“Wait a minute--you don’t understand; I use the Budweiser scale.”“What the hell is that?”“That’s how many clydesdales it would take to pull her off my face.”How A Pussy Was MadeSeven Wise Men made up their mindsto build then a Pussy of their own Design.The First was a Carpenter, full of wit,with a Hammer and Chisel, He made the Slit.The Second, a Blacksmith, black as coal,with an Anvil and Sledge, He made the Hole.The Third, a Rich Tailor, tall and thin,with a peice of Red Ribbon, He. Every few minutes, I ran from one end of the house ta the other; I didn't accomplish much fightin', but I shore got my exercise. The attack on the town lasted 'bout 45 minutes afore the Redsticks gave it up as a bad job. I make that estimate based on not hearing musket fire after that, but everybody stayed in their houses fer another hour, jus' ta be safe.After I wuz shore that the fightin' had died down, I went out front, but I made shore that Cindy wuz coverin' me, jus' in case. I found a few wounded Redsticks what I got rid of with my pig-sticker, but most were dead. Once I had checked all around the house, I signaled that it was OK fer people ta come out. Me an' Ezra spent more than an hour retrievin' our bolts. We got most of 'em back, but I guess there wuz a few Redsticks what took with them a souvenir of their visit ta our house.When we got back ta the house, I made a point of congratulatin' the Emersons on the number of Redsticks that they had taken care of. Ole man Emerson.
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