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”She locked the door so no other customers would come into the store and asked if I knew what I wanted. I handed her a piece of paper with a drawing of a Celtic cross to her that I drew myself. “Nice work, you should come work for me!” She said studying the picture. “So where on your body should I put this on?” She asked.For a moment I drew a blank. I told her that I was a swimwear model and I couldn't just have the tattoo put on me anywhere. “I know a perfect place to put your ink on!” She said excitedly. “I can put it on your pubic mound! That way the only people that would know you had a tattoo is me, you and anyone that past third base with you!”I laughed at her corny joke but thought that would be a great place because she was right about who would be able to see the tattoo.She had me come around the counter and took me to one of the private rooms she had in the shop. Once we got in the room she shut the door and set her work station up. A few minutes had past, she finished. Back then, we often would take words, divide them in half, and put an expletive in the middle. Unbelievable would thus become “unfuckingbelievable,” or incredible would become “infuckingcredible.”Once Julie and I had children, I realized I was going to have change the way I spoke after Joseph repeated one of my favorite expressions.That is what I yell: unfuckingbelievable. Of course, for me to be sitting up in bed, means I have almost knocked Mindy off the bed.She immediately asks what’s wrong, and I realize what I have done to her, and start apologizing, then add, “I am such a fool.”She against asks what is wrong.“I am so damn stupid,” I say, “a complete idiot!”Mindy, bless her little pea-pickin’ heart, is not about to pass up this opportunity.“Alan,” she says, with a great big smile, “don’t beat yourself up verbally. That’s why you married me. So I can beat you up instead!”“While I might agree with part of what you just said, at least you were smart enough to marry someone we BOTH.
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