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'Substantially address the issues raised in the letter', well there goes that fucking Teletubbies joke. You know, the one where the Teletubbies are fucking. Oh forget it, I'm not in the mood now. Bastard, fucking contract. And what about the five hundred pound 'personal appearance fee'? Are you telling me I actually have to go and meet him? Thirty minutes? I've got to spend thirty minutes listening to his snivelling shit as he undresses me with his eyes? No, I can't send the money back. Because I've fucking spent it. Not that you noticed, I could be wearing a fucking bin bag for all you care. Don't 'honeybun' me. And no I don't want a snuggle. Look, can you just fuck off, apparently I'm contractually obliged to answer this sodding letter". Dear Big BuggerFour inches!!! Sorry but you're just going to have to give me a minute whilst I catch my breath. I've known pigs with bigger dicks, and theirs are all corkscrewy. Oh well. Nevermind. There really isn't much point in you going to. I went through the first group of planets that got dusted. The ships I eventually captured had been sent on their way to dust more planets. I eventually came to the time I travelled back to Mom and Secric. This was the time I found out about the imperial override and its purpose. In all the time I knew the Tandra, I figured the probability of the Tandra Empire still being functional was negligible."The Tandra Empire as it was; is no more. The old systems are destroyed, not just the planets. I took a gamble and claimed the Emperorship of the old Tandra Empire. This got me many ships without the need to risk Tandra or Human lives. The AIS on them were given orders that forced the Samutz in them into stasis or to be killed. This happened almost every time. The ship's AI took samples of our virus and continued to dust planets. I also gave them orders to give the imperial override to all other ships they found. These in turn followed my orders and took more ships." Presently I have many.
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