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" Carol was shameless in her lust for sex. The waiter looked around the room and saw two men and a beautiful naked woman. He started backing towards the door. Carol said, "You can stay if you want. What's your name" "Jamal"She walked up to him and put her arms around his neck and kissed him with erotic intensity. He lowered his arms and cupped her ass cheeks, pulling her into him. Carol said, "Why don't the three of you men get naked?" Bill and I pulled our clothes off and threw them on the floor. Jamal hesitated and then said, "What the fuck?" He got naked too. Carol said, "More music I want to dance with Jamal." They danced naked to a slow romantic song, Carol naked and rubbing her body all over Jamal's. Jamal groaned and his thick black cock was trapped between them. Carol said, "All of you come over here and stand in front of me while I sit on the couch." The three of us stood in front of her our cocks pulsing, veins throbbing, pre cum dripping on the floor. Carol kissed the head. I'd have to learn how to be myself, which was a weird thought. I wonder if I could practice somehow. Maybe go out to bars and see what it felt like to 'be myself', I guess.Ugh.Not long after I found out about masturbation, and then the internet, I discovered stories describing BDSM relationships, and it resonated somewhere deep inside of me. I wanted to be a dominant. I wanted control. But that inequality was so alien to how I was raised that I felt tremendous guilt about it and never told a soul about my desires. The guilt, however great, never stopped me from fantasizing. If I was going to turn over a new leaf, and try to be open and truly honest with my potential partners, I needed to acknowledge this part of me. Let it out, and learn how to engage it.Suddenly I realized what was so terrifying about being myself. I was petrified about letting the dominant part of me out. What if they thought I was sick. What if they laughed. Worst of all, what if I hurt somebody? Jesus. That would.
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