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They talked for another 20 minutes before she asked him whether he was ever going to ask to see her again. He'd known that the question was inevitable, but, he had hoped it would take her longer to get around to asking it."Donna, as much as I'd dearly love to see you again, I'm terrified that it would result in too much pain for both my heart, and for my head, especially for my head. I think it is better if we simply talk to each other once in a while, over the telephone, like we've been doing. I know that if I ever saw you again, I'd start thinking up reasons to be with you. And, let's be honest, that hasn't worked out that well for me, or for us, in the past. I really like talking with you, I'm extremely interested in how you're doing, and I really enjoy this bantering back and forth, but I'm simply not willing to risk being with you, loving you, and then standing by helplessly, when you decide that the time is right, once again, to turn it all into shit." I love you Jim, I think. One weekend, she drove to our place, the next he was at hers. It is hard to imagine a more complete metamorphosis from the rollicking, flamboyant bachelor to the quiet, reserved and attentive companion. I didn't say fiance, or anything like that, because they weren't there yet, but it was plenty obvious to me anyway, that it was the direction they were headed. During the week, there was no more bar hopping together, which certainly put a damper on my entertainment. I have never been a big fan of going out drinking as a single, for any number of reasons, but mostly because I thought it made me feel like a loser.Seeing them together and obviously growing more meaningful to each other as each day passed gave me pause to think about Caitlin. What had happened to our relationship? Where had it gone wrong? It seemed like we were so close for so long and then suddenly she was gone. Letters and cards once plentiful and personal became fewer and almost generic. In my conversations with Hanna.
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