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WHY CHOCOLATE IS BETTER THAN SEX1) We don’t have to beg for chocolate. This proves nothing. We can get sex without begging. Ask Eve.Let’s just not get like Mrs. Marabel Morgan who wrote “Total Woman.” Wear Saran Wrap to greet your hubby after his hard day at the office. Imagine how sticky you’d feel plastered in plastic!We didn’t have to beg our brother who maybe wasn’t romantic because we mentioned his faults.“Gross, Tim, don’t take off your shoes in here, I wrecked my shoulder in volleyball practice.”“Sorry.”“Maybe you can rub it?”“I suppose.”“We can still watch ‘Basic Instinct’ before the folks get home. I’ll sit in front. Want a creamy or chewy Brach’s?”“Chewy.”Timmy never rubbed through Saran Wrap is my point. Just took a chocolate.2) We can have chocolate in front of our mothers.3) We can have chocolate while driving. Car sex ties into America’s car culture, the automobile as our extension. OK, Corvettes are more-or-less big red penises, probably driven by guys with little pale. Hargraves to let the girls know they’d called for them and they hoped the week would pass fast. Back in the car, as Brad drove, speculation was rife. What had the girls done? How had they been caught? Jared suggested they’d short-sheeted an aunt’s bed, but that got boos. The suggestion that got the most applause was that the girls had indeed short-sheeted Aunt Mildred’s bed but also added a snake, and Mildred had come downstairs, never mentioned the snake, but was in a better mood than she’d been in since 1968. While the boys joked, Jill realized she was with three special guys. She’d been with Brad for six months, longer than she’d stayed with any boyfriend. Henry had been her first steady, and the first to to take off her bra, when they were both 16. Using her hand, she’d sprayed his cum on her developing breasts. About a year later, she thrilled when Jared sweet-talked her into their first blow job and later, out of her virginity. They parked the car on the circular drive and.
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