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I decided that if she did go through with it, I wasn’t going to say anything to her about his ultimate intention. I wanted her to spend an exotic, erotic month with him without being distracted by being on guard against her own emotions.What was it inside of me that wanted to gamble my marriage and my wife for a thrill, over and over again? Did I want to lose her? Does a drug addict want to be addicted to the drug? The fear is part of the addiction for me. My wife having sex with another man is just a part of it, it’s the fear that makes the excitement so much more acute. I like it that much more when Michelle is consumed with another man she’s having an affair with. Maybe it’s proving my manhood over and over again when she always comes home to me over another lover.That evening, I told Michelle what I’d learned about Brett McKenzie. I told her what I found out about how enamored he was with her but not that he wanted to take her and keep her. I suspected the possibility was real. “We’re going shoe-shopping.”Yay! I thought. I was afraid my poor brown heels were needing a break. But he had more to say.“You’re going to be trying on shoes. Most of the people fitting you are likely to be men, although there may be women as well. You are not going to be excessively modest, Vanessa. I don’t expect you to deliberately flash these guys, but if they see something, you’re not to freak out. Got it?”Suddenly I was a little less excited about shoe shopping, but I figured this was another opportunity to adjust to my new status. I remembered the older gentleman I had inadvertently “shown my wares” to on my first day in stockings, and I smiled a little. Jack had said I would get used to it, so I guess this was more practice.We headed into the mall and made a beeline for a store called Wild Pair that specialized in sexy shoes and boots. As he said, most of the people working in the store were men. However, it so happened that I was helped by one of the two females, a girl about.
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