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I’m gonna lose it. I just know I’m gonna lose my mind. They’re going to put me away somewhere. A place where the world can forget about me. But I won’t forget. I can’t. Maybe I should just end it. It? Yes, it. End it all. It can’t be that hard to do. It would be a relief. Forever. Why not? I can’t face tomorrow. Heck, I can’t even face today. Look at my hands. They’re shaking. I’m tired. So very tired. I can’t take this anymore and there’s fuck all I can do about it. That’s the worst part of it. I’ve always been able to do something about it when shit happened. All I know now is what hollowness feels like. A great big fucking void sucking everything out of me. That’s all that’s left. A lifeless, useless shell of a man. My thoughts are only for myself. It’s a gray September day. I’m sitting on a park bench with weeping willows (what else) on either side and a small pond directly ahead surrounded by manicured lawns. The pond water is dark and still. No sunlight reflects on it.. I was three years old, and told the police who had done it. D’you know, I have no memory of any of that?“Helen was born in November 1963, but there was no mention in the paper of a baby, and I’m sure there would have been had a baby also have been there. However, Ruby was living in Manchester, and Helen was born in Shrewsbury. If Ruby was not Helen’s mother, we are not brother and sister after all.”Everyone began to talk at once. I held up a hand.“I remembered Maurice Metcalfe saying that Helen and I were born in the same hospital. I got my full birth certificate and found I was born in a bedsitter on Castle Foregate, not the hospital. He said she was born in the hospital. That’s not all.“The indexes show the mother’s maiden name. I thought that if I’m not the brother David Evans, there must another David Evans and he will have the same mother as Helen had, though you have to remember that she was not registered as Helen. I had to look for them, and I found them.“David J Evans was.
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