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Then the preacher man told us how we, too, could be ‘saved’ by the righteousness of the lord. I wanted to fucking puke. My Uncle would have wrung that man’s neck like a chicken, and that bastard stood there telling lie upon lie to sell his church any way he could. I know, I was there when he died. Those fuckers. They use every funeral as a commercial for the church. Days after my Uncle’s funeral my Aunt asked my Mother and I if we would attend a new church with her. There was no way I would have told her no. She needed me, so despite my discomfort with the church I went, out a sense of duty to her. My Mother and I went with her to this little three room building that was more shanty than church, to comfort my Aunt in her time of need. The preacher man was this banty little prick who strutted about like a rooster with his hackles up. As we seated ourselves, a weathered looking gentleman passed around a collection plate. I barely noticed it, dropping a five in. The preacher started his. I can't believe this is happening.I used to think that virginity was something that had to be savoured until marriage. That's just the way it went when I was young but now that I've grown up and found this new dimension of myself, the marriage doesn't matter. Neither does the wedding, reception or nuptuals. It's the person. Only the person. Not the world around you, not the cars going by. Sometimes it's just you and him and the rain. That's how I felt that day. I hung up the phone, pretending things were normal. "Dad said he'll be another hour. And I told him that I'll get sommore shopping done but I think I'm skint!" "Well, Jude, maybe we can spend time together that will be a Chrimbo present for you. Want to leave?"Thumpthumpthumpbzzzbzzzbzzz goes my heart again. "Of course. I'm baking in here it's getting much too hot." We left, our fingers gently yet tightly interweaving. It felt so damn good to have a man hold my hand. I felt the roughness of labour yet the softness of love and.
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