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Several weekends Jeremiah had gone to one of the larger nearby towns to get laid but he had not found anyone he wanted more than a one night stand with. Most of the women he had during his Navy career had been longer term relationships and he missed the companionship and just sleeping with a woman. He felt he was much too young at 44 to go to the local Senior Center dances even though he had been invited several times. He had gone one time and just could not get into that type socialization especially with women who averaged fifteen to twenty years older than he was. His first winter did not go badly. Some of the nicer days he spent building a larger storage barn just outside the trees protecting his house and yard. He stored his larger equipment there and his completed bee hives and woodworking tools. One end of the building had been closed in with concrete floors to process and sell his honey and fruit. He had run water and electricity to it and was ready to go. Spraying equipment,. ”He looked around and couldn’t see any one. He thought he was dreaming when he heard the voice say again, “Pick me up.”He looked in the water and there, floating on the top, was a frog.The man said, “Are you talking to me?”The frog said, “Yes, I’m talking to you. Pick me up. Then, kiss me and I’ll turn into the most beautiful woman you have ever seen. I’ll then give you more sexual pleasure that you ever could have dreamed of.”The man looked at the frog for a short time, reached over, picked it up carefully, and placed it in his front breast pocket.Then the frog said, “What, are you nuts? Didn’t you hear what I said? I said kiss me and I will give you sexual pleasures like you have never had.”He opened his pocket, looked at the frog and said, “Nah, at my age I’d rather have a talking frog.”A group of kindergartners were trying to become accustomed to the first grade. The biggest hurdle they faced was that the teacher insisted on no baby talk.“You need to use ‘big people’ words,” she’d.
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