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“Why do you suppose I ever picked them up in the first place, much less jammed them in my pocket?” Allison wiggled her eyebrows at me. “Instinct? A beautiful woman tosses her panties at you, nine out of ten guys are going to catch them, right?” I nodded. “I suppose – but she didn’t toss them, she just dropped them on the table. I mostly grabbed them so nobody else would see. I have no idea why I kept them, though.” “Me either. Probably something deeply psychological having to do with your mother.” I winced. “Ummm… eewww? Can we not go there, please – I was about to have breakfast.” She laughed. “Everything psychological has to do with your mother, doesn’t it? Especially any female issues you might have.” “I don’t have ‘female issues’; I have female underwear issues.” She came over and straddled me, lowering herself onto my lap. “We’ll keep that our little secret. I promise, none of your friends ever has to know – especially if you’re a little careful about using public restrooms and. All Others Have to PAY!”That card had been taped in place by the owner, who still lived but rarely came around. A formerly rich stockbroker humbled by a serious of disastrous investment schemes, Richard Brooks had used his last remaining savings to buy the diner. He had renovated an old property that he had taken in trade for a long forgotten debt and opened the diner as a hedge against poverty. Over the decades, the diner had provided his best source of support and a boatload of valuable tax deductions. Still, Richard was no nearer the Last Chance this Christmas Eve than he was on any other day. Besides having its own special place in the diner, that warning postcard was the source of unending conversation, none of which came near the boring truth. Sometime in the distant past, it was said, a forgotten short order cook taped it there after an inebriated regular attempted to secure financing for a meal. Someone thought the cook’s last name had been Short. Others argued that Shorty had.
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