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" I say.She looks toward the rising sun, I can see pain on her face."I Let myself be pulled into the politics, the minutia of day to day life, I thought you didn't need me anymore, hell I started pulling away around the rise of sumner." I say.She has her eyes shut, she is trying to scrunch in on herself."I justified it as letting your people grow up, Id pop in when I felt like it, stay for 20 years and run off again. All you ever had from the past 5000 years is an absentee guardian, the "weekend dad" If you would, Id show up wow you guys with some gifts some information here and there." I say.She is starting to whimper."I made that mistake with Elise you know, I saw she was a strong leader, and I stayed with her longer than I had before, and when I left she got bitter." I say."You know Lilith sacrificed her self to shut the pit, I couldn't do it, she could and the only thing she asked for saving the world was for me to watch over her daughters." I say.I sigh to myself, I stood and. Emotions that I had buried under selfish fun and sexual depravity erupted as explosively as an orgasm, but with no pleasure and peace to follow, just a towering wall of long-concealed grief for parents who had loved and cared for me, as I did for them, and yet they'd gone to their graves believing the very worst of me. Grief that I had pushed back and back with sex, drugs, visits to the House in the Woods, grief that could no longer be contained, because there was nowhere else for it to go.Margaret found me bawling my eyes out on the sofa, hugging the card to my chest, not letting her have it back even when she snapped at me. I had resisted her before, but with full knowledge of the consequences. This time I wasn't conscious of what I was doing. Pain filled my heart with such depth and concentration I could hardly breathe.Margaret quickly realised that I was in a similar dark place to where I had been after my morphine binge. Never one to be ready with easy sympathy or affection, she.
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