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And you've helped Lisa and Patty and Mary; if you love women so much as you claim, you wouldn't have left Karin hanging."I told her again, that I wasn't attracted at all to Karin, and any intimate tenderness I showed her would be a lie."I'd have to do the whole thing with viagra," I protested; "And even then I might not have been able to perform." Besides, it's not exactly fair to criticize me ... or other men, for that matter, for not knowing what women really want or need when the women don't understand it themselves. And ... how do you know she ISNT working her way out of it?" Sandi had no response, I thought because she realized that was true. But that wasn't the case."No, Jake ... what women want is to feel safe and protected and cherished."Now it was my turn to be silent while I reorganized my thoughts. I was used to her, and I thought I understood the leap she'd just made. She was trying to tell me that Karin still had a long way to go in resolving her issues ... but why did. True that Ellen had always had and been all of the things that Ann wanted to have and be. But Ellen now had the one thing that changed all of the rest. Ellen had cancer. Ellen was facing death, and Ann had the precious thing that Ellen could not count on—good health. If only they had known this two years ago. If only Ellen had known it. Ann had done what she could to be a ‘best sister’—and Ellen had kept putting her off. Ellen had always seemed to go for the surface pleasures, nothing really meaningful. And Ann had to admit that she’d been openly judgmental about that—probably far too often. But it was Christmas. Ann always hoped for the best, especially at Christmas time. It had been the one season in her family during which she had been happy—because the spirit of Christmas had always given her hope. No matter what was actually happening in her life. Ann knew what she’d do. She’d shop for a few Christmas presents for Ellen. Frivolous things, but things with some permanence to them..
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