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He was saying goodbye, it appeared. He wiped his face, and walked back towards the car. He knew I liked my privacy, too. I hobbled towards her, heart pounding my chest. ‘I come here,’ I started, ‘Because the kids expect me to. As far as I’m concerned, I see you and talk to you and love you every day, because you’re still alive in my heart.’ ‘And in the house…’ I whispered, wiping away tears of my own, ‘I see you everywhere.’ ‘I’ve been having this dream.’ I said after a moment’s silence. ‘A dream where I made a different decision… where I chose not to come down to you in the city. It’s an odd dream… we never really saw each other again, after that one month when we were together.’ ‘I can’t imagine…’ I paused, my heart pounding in my chest. ‘I can’t imagine that life…’ ‘That life without you.’ The wind blew around me, snow blowing in my face, but I ignored it. ‘It was difficult for me, because there were times when I thought I loved you, more than you loved me. But, I had to take the. .younger guy, maybe around 21, 22, I was around 30 or so...i don't remember now....but anyway, I had posted an add looking for a hookup and he responded saying he was out driving around and was looking to come by for a quick blow job. no reciept, just me sucking his cock and getting him off. We played msg/phone tag for a little bit, and i was beginning to think he was just jerking me around. So i just decided, 'fuck it', and i just texted him my address and told him to text me when he's here. I don't normally like doing that because people are creeps and its often the last time you hear from them, i like to be sure they'll show....but i was really horny, and really wanted to suck his black cock. He wasn't bullshitthing though, and txted me about 20 mins later. I told him my apt number and he came up.Not sure if you're very experienced, but for me, those first few moments can be a combination of nervouseness, excitement, anxiety, horniness, apprehension....but I calmed myself,.
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