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I had my share of girlfriends, lost my virginity at age 18, even got married. But I never forgot Catherine's lovely smile, soft hands, and angelic voice. I went to college and got a very good job after graduation. My marriage came just weeks after graduation to a girl who was the opposite of Catherine in so many ways. I think I was looking for a replacement that wouldn't remind me of Catherine, and found her in my wife. She was very slim, with light brown hair, A-cup boobs, and no ass to speak of. She also seemed to be as interested in big houses and big cars and her shoe collection as she was in me. Eventually, the money that she spent ate our savings up, the arguments started, and after five years, the divorce came. At least we didn't have children to further muddle up the picture. I moved to a small town, picked up the pieces, and began rebuilding my life, swearing off women forever. Who needs a wife? And love? And commitment? Those things were obviously not within my reach, so I. ”“Partly. But partly to share a secret that Steve and I kept from you. Well, me, really, because Steve had promised never to even mention it ever again. And he hasn’t.”“Uh, I’m not sure that’s entirely accurate, Kara. I’m pretty sure I wrote it in my journal.”She stared at me for a moment, “You and those damned journals! Maybe it would be better if they never existed.”“Maybe. But we are where we are. They exist. And I need to keep writing. I am reasonably certain it’s the only thing that’s kept me sane since I was fourteen. I’m sorry, but I never intended to hurt you.”“Bethany read those! And others! I can’t believe you, Steve! You promised!”“I’m sorry. I can’t undo it now.”“Who’s read that?”And the question that I couldn’t answer without revealing something I was sworn to keep secret. I was beginning to understand exactly why keeping things from people close to me was nightmarish. If I told Kara the truth, I’d be violating Elyse’s trust. But writing that episode in my journals had.
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