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A bottle of rum in my kitchen beckoned and I followed its call. A pirate stared back at me from the label of the empty bottle. Apparently my need for forgetfulness the previous evening had been stronger than I remembered. Well, at least getting more rum would give me something to do. Maybe I would go to a bar. I could meet someone, someone who would make me forget. Buoyed by this thought, I grabbed my keys and went to the door. Pulling it open, I saw a small fist raised to just below my eye level. The owner of that fist had been about to knock. She was small, not much over five feet tall, so I took her in from the top down. Her hair was blond, the blondest blond I had ever seen and it caught the light like polished metal. She wore dark-rimmed glasses that made her blue eyes seem to jump out. A grey coat obscured her top, but her short, loose-fitting skirt showed off some of the best legs I had ever seen. It was her. “Hello, Carmen,” I said automatically. Carmen lowered her hand. ‘I mainly dealt with the wimpy-types, you know the sort, the one’s with forceful and tyrannical wives who make their husbands to do housework whilst wearing frocks and aprons. As I’ve mentioned I knew the procedure backwards so I knew exactly what I was doing. The doctor’s knew about it too, and they raised no objections if they got a portion of my fees. Everyone was happy until one of my patients experienced some disfigurement.’ Mrs Pardoe unconsciously clutched at her bosom and seemed to become increasingly startled as the word ‘disfigurement’ percolated in her mind. Matron offered a sharp look of impatience. ‘It was a faulty silicon insert that caused the problem not a want of skill on my part. There’s a risk in all surgery, but with accusations of illegal practise being thrown about the doctors took fright and disowned me. Since there could have been criminal charges in the offing I thought it best to simply disappear.’ She shrugged and smiled grimly. ‘So it was goodbye to London.
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