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Death granted her the easiest of exits, asleep in her own bed. While she'd had to deal with the disruptions of nurses in her house a few times, she'd managed to outwit and elude Nursing Home Hell. She left this life right as she was hitting the cusp where her deteriorating health would have inevitably descended into a diminished body, mind and spirit.Grandma had one great regret in her worldly existence, and she intended to rectify it in the afterlife. As she confided in me during our last visit, "When I meet up with your Grandpa in Heaven, I'm going to kick his butt clear on down to Hell for leaving me alone for fifteen years."I probably would have skipped the whole ordeal, but in the long distance call announcing the death, my father also requested that I join him in being a pallbearer, noting that it would mean the world to him."You do have a decent suit coat, don't you?"I accepted out of embarrassment at admitting that I didn't."And black shoes, dress shoes, not those..." I. .. at least until she starts to send you nude selfies.”“Oh, God,” I muttered.“I really have to get moving,” Liz said in a sorrowful voice. “I need to work out and everybody is coming over this morning to go over some dance steps. I’ll call you tonight and I’ll see you tomorrow.”I put down the phone and walked out to where Jill sat with our breakfast. My first order of business was a cup of coffee.“Liz called you a floozy,” I said when I sat down.“I am a floozy,” Jill replied with a shrug. She had on her normal morning attire – a sports bra and a pair of tight shorts. I figured she was headed to the workout center as soon as she ate a light breakfast.“And they’re not coming down tonight,” I added.“What?” Jill asked, the fork stopping midway to her mouth.“She doesn’t want to give the impression that there is any validity to the story,” I replied.“You dick!” Jill said. “I haven’t really seen Brian at all since Tuesday!”“Sorry,” I said. “But ... the time away from you probably did him.
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