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“Siza told me this morning I didn’t get laid last night. I don’t know other than that. She dared me in the afternoon right over there because I blew it. I admitted I was a virgin.” I looked up at them and then back down disconnecting eye contact.My mind was a storm of shame but didn’t know why, how or anything.“And she said I had to get laid if I like wanted to be one of you locals and not a dumb haole virgin, which by the way she said was against some kind of law in Hawaii once you are something like fourteen years old. She was SO serious. You know?” “OH YEAH, we know,” said Shorty as the laughing picked up.“She said I could be deported, which I didn’t really believe but she demanded to have a look at my penis to see if it ‘worked’.” “It’s true man,” said Shorty, trying not to laugh. But they all laughed really hard. “They will deport you if you’re too virgin or if your dick doesn’t work.” And they laughed some more, total guffaw. “We’ve all been certified and we’re a bunch of real. It was that guy’s boss. It was my bosses bosses boss. The guy who reported directly to the CEO, and who I only recognized from occasional office visits to check up on everyone. I grabbed Mike by the arm and rushed us both to the door.“Did you see him? No? That was Dan, my regional manager. Holy shit, we need to go! Now!”Mike, who was clearly disappointed about leaving, grabbed our cooler full of drinks (swing clubs tend to be BYOB in our state) and met me outside of the front door. He asked me why I was so upset and in all honesty it wasn’t just that I was afraid of losing my job, it was that this was the first person in my life to discover (rather than be told) that we were swingers. We drove home with Mike reassuring me that everything was fine, that it was unlikely that my manager would even recognize me and if he did, he had as much to lose by word getting out as we did. A week later Dan was in my office building checking things out when he pulled me aside and, over a smile,.
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