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. does that mean that one out of five enjoys it?Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren't they just stale bread to begin with?If people from Poland are called Poles, then why aren't people from Holland called Holes?If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist, but a person who drives a race car is not called a racist?If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, then doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?Do Lipton Tea employees take 'coffee breaks?'What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks, so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use, Toothpicks?Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we. "What about Booker T & the MG's? What about the Shadows without Cliff Richard? What about almost every fucking House and Techno crew you can think of?" That's not gonna work, Jacquie," said Madeleine. "The album's got a singer and a guitarist on it. In fact, it's got three singers and two guitars. There's gonna be some pretty pissed-off punters if they go to what they think is a Crystal Passion gig and what they get is the Chemical Brothers." There's my friend, Steph," I said."Steph?" wondered Madeleine. "Who's she?" She can sing and play guitar." And where is Steph at the moment, Pebbles?" She plays with the Palms, a sort of alt-folk group, but I don't think she's doing anything much at the moment. In fact, I don't think the Palms are active at all these days. It's hard for them to find gigs, especially in London." She's untried and untested, Pebbles," said Madeleine. "It'd be a heavy burden for her to take on the role of Crystal Passion. Are you sure she's up to it?" I could ask.
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